A guy was walking to a bar and on his way he found a girl tied up to the railroad tracks. He untied her and they had sex. Guy gets to the bar, friends ask why he's so late, tells them about the girl he found and all the different positions they fucked in. Friends give him props and ask if he got head, guy replies "I couldn't find it."
@metin: A father is showering in the morning when his young daughter stumbles into the bathroom.
She opens the curtain and notices his penis to which she says, "Daddy what's that?"
Seeing it as a teachable moment the father replies, "That's my penis sweetie."
The daughter quickly asks, "Will I ever get one?"
The father chuckles and responds, "As soon as your mother leaves for work."
What does a baby look like after its been in the microwave for 30 seconds?
I don't know, I close my eyes when I masturbate.
